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Anachra Nisom's avatar

I'm grateful for Martha's thoughtful points here, especially how she invites us to also be in a liminal space of nuance and uncertainty. Being uncertain, or acknowledging that there are no perfect or easy choices in a situation like the Smiths' is too often (and to our detriment) seen as capitulating to the 'other side' (whichever that may be) when, really, it is simply wisdom.

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Timothy Gutwald's avatar

Thank you for writing this and for doing so in such a thoughtful way. Like you, I thought Fr. Tad's parallel was particularly interesting. I think hypotheticals can be very helpful, although the ideologues try to avoid them for obvious reasons. For example, what if she had been 1 week pregnant? 2 weeks? 3 days? Or what if she had been 25 weeks pregnant? 26? 20? 37? I think these hypotheticals help illustrate how little of this is black and white.

It also resonated because of a tragedy we recently experienced, where a 5-year-old boy died in a car accident. He was kept alive for almost a week so that his family (some of whom had been seriously injured in the accident) could say goodbye before his organs were donated. Even that period of time made me a bit uneasy and was, frankly, confusing to my kids as we tried to explain that he was dead, but not really dead. I think it is important to recognize that many of us are uncomfortable with how medical technology treats death.

Lastly, I am a lawyer and once had a client call me to advise on the legal implications of ending a pregnancy in a similarly difficult circumstance (very different facts though). I felt so awkward to be brought into such an intimate situation where it was very clear that the doctor, mother, and family were thinking deeply about the situation and were in agony over what to do. My main takeaway was that I did not belong there and somewhat resented having to provide cold, legal analysis amidst such personal tragedy.

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